why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
