Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
