I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
