My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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