she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize