I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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