His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
