I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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