I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
