...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
