i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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