we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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