At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
