come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
