Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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