and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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