A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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