I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
