You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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