My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
