I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
