So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
