Sponge bath it is.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
