Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
