Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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