The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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