So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
