dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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