What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
