It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
