i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
