haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
