You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Someone shattered a urinal.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
