All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
