he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
