haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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