So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
