i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
