We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
