Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
