How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
