What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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