i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
