Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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