Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
