nut hugger
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
