Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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