Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
