oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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