I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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