I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
