I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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